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只看该作者 60楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:42:01
The Goodnight Kiss
  
  One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her ?Darling, would you give me a blow job?"
  Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
  Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
  Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
  Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
  Her: "No way. It's just too risky!"
  Him (horny as hell): "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
  Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
  Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?"
  Her: "No, no. I just can't"
  Him: "I beg you ... "
  Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give your boyfriend a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..."
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只看该作者 61楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:42:20
The facts about lunch
  
  A little girl runs out to the yard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's **屏蔽词语**?"
  
  Her startled father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, **屏蔽词语**ual intercourse, sperms and eggs.
  
  He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation, erections, wet-dreams... and, he thinks -- what the hell -- and goes on to tell her the works.
  
  He covers a wide assortment of topics and by the time he's finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.
  
  Her father finally asks: "So what did you want to know about **屏蔽词语** for?"
  
  "Oh, mommy said to tell you lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."
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只看该作者 62楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:42:45
 A little boy was doing his math homework.
  He said to himself, "Two plus five, the son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine..."
  
  His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
  
  The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
  
  "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
  
  "Yes," he answered.
  
  Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
  
  The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
  
  The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitch is four?"
  
  After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
  
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只看该作者 63楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:43:09
 What do a bungee jump and a whore have in common?
  
  They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks you're a dead men.
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只看该作者 64楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:43:31
Penis Appraisal
  I,the penis hereby request a raise in salary for the following reason:
  *I do physical labour
  *I work at great depths
  *I plunge headfirst into everything I do
  *I do not get weekends off,nor public holiday
  *I work in a damp environment
  *I do not get paid overtime
  *I work in dark,poorly ventilated conditions
  *I work in high temperatures
  *my work exposes me to contagious diseases
  
  MANAGEMENT RESPONSE
  Dear penis,
  After considering your request and assessing the arguments raised,the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
  *you do not work 8 hours straight
  *you fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
  *you do not always follow the orders of the management team
  *you do not stay in your allocated position and often stay into other areas
  *you do not take initiative&have to be pressured and stimulated to start working
  *you leave the worksite rather messy at end of your shift
  *you often fail to observe necessary safety regulations,such as wearing the correct protective clothing
  *you will retire well before reaching 65
  *you are unable to work double shifts
  *you sometimes leave your allocated position before completing the job
  *and as if that were not all,you have been observed entering and leaving the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags
  
  sincerely,the management
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只看该作者 65楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:43:54
 Boy or Girl?
  
  There were women waiting in a doctor's office.
  
   They started talking and one women said, "I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so I'm going to have another girl."
  
   One of the other ladies said, "I'm going to have a boy, I was on the top."
  
   The last lady started to cry.
  The two other ladies asked, "Why are you crying?"
  She replied, "I'm going to have puppies!!!
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只看该作者 66楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:44:18
What do men like the most about oral copulation?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  The 10 mins silence
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只看该作者 67楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:44:50
  (51)
  **屏蔽词语** is like mathematics. Add the bed, minus the light,subtract the cloths,bring down the panty,divide the legs find the decimal point, then get ready to multiply.
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只看该作者 68楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:45:18
 There was a fellow name 江湖酒客talking to his buddy one day. The 江湖酒客 said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped."
  
  His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great **屏蔽词语**, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So, the 江湖酒客  did just that.
  
  The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How'd it turn out?"
  
  "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'!"
  
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只看该作者 69楼 发表于: 2007-12-07 13:45:43
(52)
  26 parts of men that are useless:20 nails that can not be hammered,1 adams apple that can not be eaten,2 niples with no milk,2 eggs you can not fry,and lastly,a bird that can not fly!
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