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Top joke in UK
　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.

　Top joke in USA
　　A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says:
　　"Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man. The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married for 35 years."
　　

　Top joke in Canada
　　When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.
　　

THE WINNING JOKE
　　A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help.
　　First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

　**屏蔽词语**y deaf-mute went to see DR. so she can learn to speak:
　　DR:ok,put your panty down,then turn around(DR puts bird inside)
　　**屏蔽词语**y deaf-mute:AAaa
　　DR:ok,tomorrow we learn how to say letter B!
　　

Two Cannibals, pa & s0n hunting for food,saw a pretty lady swimming.
　　S0N: Yes!we have something for lunch!
　　PA: No way! We take her home & eat your mam!
　　

Men were born from between the legs of a woman yet men spend all their life and time trying to go back between the legs.WHY?because there’s no place like home.

a lawyer confused about his math asked his secretary:if I give you &3M less 17%,how much would you take off?
　　secretary:everything sir!DRESS,BRA,PANTY-ALL THE WAY!
　　

　Widow:doctor help me,there is a vibrator inside my pussy!
　　Doc:its ok,I can take it out.!
　　Widow:NO!just change battery,because its slow already…!
　　

Why Is having **屏蔽词语** like riding a bike?
　　
　　1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
　　
　　2. It’s best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
　　
　　3. You can do it with no hands, but it’s best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
　　
　　4. It’s easier to learn with the help of someone who has a lot of experience.
　　
　　5. You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun.
　　
　　6. It’s usually hard to control your speed the first few times you try.
　　
　　7. It’s best to have a soft place to land.
　　
　　8. You don’t need any special clothing, but you can get some if you are really into it.
　　
　　9. If you’re with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it’s usually best to slow down and wait for them.
　　
　　10. Most people think it looks easy until they try it for the first time.
　　
　　11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
　　
　　12. If you fall off get right back on.
　　
　　13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
　　
　　14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
　　
　　15. Make sure that you’ve got a firm grip.
　　
　　16. Sometimes it’s nice to have a cushy seat.
　　
　　17. Once you’re over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
　　
　　18. That’s why some of them are called Mountin’ Bikes.