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　ALL OF THEM
　　A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by.
　　So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again.
　　"So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked.
　　"Well", the woman responded, "I've made one hundred dollars and fifty cents."
　　"That's strange", the husband responded, "who gave you the fifty cents?"
　　Said the woman: "All of them, of course!"

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms.
　　He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
　　She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?

　One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
　　Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.
　　She spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
　　She also spoke: "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
　　She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
　　"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar.
　　Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
　　Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
　　The biker answers, "I'm Cess."

want to hear a FAIRY TALE?
　　once upon a time, cinderella was so horny! so she put pinocchio's nose between her legs & shoutd,
　　"lie to me you bstard, lie!!"

he came at night&explored my body.
　　he got on top of me &touched me.
　　he bit&sucked me.
　　when he was satisfied he left.
　　i was hurt.
　　
　　shit mosquito manic:)

　A tribe in the jungle consider farting after every meal to be a sign of power, however the chief of the tribe finds it extremely difficult to fart.
　　
　　His servant goes to the doctor and say "big chief, no fart" so the doctor gives him a pill
　　
　　The next day the servant goes back to the doctor and says "big chief, still no fart" so the doctor gives him a big pill the size of his hand
　　
　　On the third day the servant goes back and says "big cheif still not fart" so the doctor gives a pill the size of a football
　　
　　The next day the servant comes back and says to the doctor "big fart,no chief!"

　The Elderly Couple
　　A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can
　　I do for you?"
　　
　　The man said, "Will you watch us have **屏蔽词语**ual intercourse?"
　　
　　The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor
　　said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he
　　then charged them $32.00.
　　
　　This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment,
　　have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave.
　　
　　Finally the doctor asked, "Just what exactly are you trying to find out?"
　　
　　The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married
　　and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to my house.
　　The Holiday Inn charges $60.00 and the Hilton charges $75.00. We do it here
　　for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's
　　office."

Unga Bunga
　　Once there were three scientists who were walking in the woods. They were searching for butterflys. While they were sleeping that night a tribe captured them and put them in a tent. The first guy wakes up and sees the tribe cheif with a spear he says: Death or Unga Bunga? The first guy says: Unga bunga because I don't want to die! So they take him away. Unga Bunga is a guy with a ten foot long dick and he sticks it up the other guys butt for ten seconds and then the second guy wakes up and he sees the first guy come staggering back saying: Pick death! Pick death! But the guy doesn't believe him so he picks Unga Bunga. And then the same thing happens to him. Then the third guy wakes up and see the guy staggering back saying: Pick Death! So the guy figues that what the heck? And he picks death and then the chief says: Death! by Unga Bunga!

Wrong Way
　　
　　
　　A man's wife had been in a coma for several days following a particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the woman's body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye she thought she had seen the woman's eyebrows shudder. Not quite sure, she tried again. This time, she actually did see some movement.
　　
　　"Doctor, Doctor," she called, "I saw some movement!"
　　
　　The Doctor came in to the room and tried as well. Once more, they both saw movement around the woman's eyes.
　　
　　"Well this is good news," said the Doctor. "I think we should call her husband and let him know."
　　
　　Anyway, they called her husband and told him that they had seen some movement. When he arrived, they explained that by touching her pubic hair, they were seeing some sort of reaction in her facial muscles. The Doctor suggested that the husband may like to try something a little more adventurous in order to provoke a stronger reaction. "I suggest that we leave the room and that you try a little oral **屏蔽词语**," he said.
　　
　　The husband duly agreed and so he was left alone in the room. Several moments later, all the emergency alarms and buzzers were activated. The Doctor and a host of nurses ran in to the wife's room where they saw the husband zipping up his jeans.
　　
　　"Oops," he said, "I think I choked her."

Lonely on the Farm
　　
　　
　　Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.
　　
　　"Name's Enoch... Your neighbour from four miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday... Thought you'd like to come."
　　
　　"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
　　
　　As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."
　　
　　"Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
　　
　　Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
　　
　　"Damn", Sam thinks... "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
　　
　　Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild **屏蔽词语** at these parties, too."
　　
　　"Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?"
　　
　　Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."